A friend sent me a link to a blog post, written by a mom about boys: 11 things Only Parents of Boys Understand. It’s well done, funny, and insightful. But in “thing #2” came that familiar storyline that we continue to perpetrate to the detriment of our sons: 2. Simultaneously hating and being grateful for the privilege your son will have as an adult male. This is a tough one. We all want our children to succeed and let’s be... Read more
OK…I’ll dive in and take the heat: Does anyone else find it a bit disingenuous that a beer company (one of the NFL’s biggest sponsors) said that they were not satisfied with the way the NFL was handling the domestic abuse issues? Ninety-two percent of the domestic abuse assailants reported use of alcohol or other drugs on the day of the assault, according to a recent JAMA report. Another study shows that the percentage of batterers who are under the... Read more
I’ve been a pastor for over 30 years. For the last 9 years a part of my focus has been on the challenges boys face in the 21st Century, and the challenge churches face in keeping boys engaged. 70-90% of all boys will leave the Christian Church, and most won’t come back. Often, when I write something about how the church is losing boys, I’ll get a response that says something like this: Good! That means less kids being brain-washed!... Read more
(Excerpted from: Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church! The True Story of How One Congregation Dropped Sunday School to Save its Soul) The little children were being brought to Jesus in order that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples spoke sternly to those who brought them…(Matthew 20:13) The disciples had a knack for protecting Jesus from those they considered unimportant. They wanted to send away the 5000 to feed themselves. They wanted to send... Read more
(Excerpted from Sunday Schooling Our Kids Out of Church: The True Story of How One Congregation Dropped Sunday School to Save its Soul) About 40 years ago a profound shift took place in many Christian congregations across the country…for all the right reasons…with one troubling unintended consequence: In the 1960’s and 1970’s, my generation, Baby Boomers, rebelled against the “institutional church” just as we did with every other institution our parents built/supported. We rebelled by dropping out: 2/3rds of my generation... Read more
In the twenty-first century, the overwhelming majority of boys are being mentored primarily by women: moms and grandmas, female preschool teachers, female elementary teachers, female Sunday school teachers, and, more often than not, educational TV shows skewed to girls. A few fortunate boys have a dad, uncle, or grandpa to pour male energy into the boy. For far too many boys, however, Dad no longer lives at home, is disengaged even though he does live at home, or feels inadequate... Read more
If you dig deep enough into the soul of a man who for some reason seems a bit lost in life, or maybe real lost, you’ll usually find a man who never received affirmation from his father. In groups, I often ask men, by a show of hands, how many never received a blessing from Dad. More often than not, the overwhelming majority of men raise their hands. In a session on manhood I was leading, a group of four... Read more
Imagine dropping your son off at football practice and as he’s walking toward the field you yell out: Son, one of my hopes for you this season is that you fall in love with your coach! Or imagine saying to your son: Son, my greatest desire, as your dad/mom, is that you fall in love with me. Creepy! Ick! Yuck! Yet that’s precisely what much of Christianity says today to boys (and to girls) about Jesus. I’m reading an absolutely... Read more
The Fog of War: The unavoidable aspect of war wherein the intelligence gathered is always incomplete to a degree, thereby making any decisions concerning said war a bit… foggy. (Urban Dictionary) Our boys are in crisis: 70% of all D’s and F’s are given to boys 85% of stimulant addressing meds prescribed in the world are prescribed to US boys The reading skills of the average 17 year old boy have declined over the last 20 years Boys are falling... Read more
For the last several months a group of writers has been focusing on the issues of boys and men by collaborating through the writing and sharing of blog posts in order to bring greater awareness to the unique challenges boys and men face in the 21st Century. Twice a month these writers are posting the same posts on their various media formats to spread the word and to introduce their audiences to the great work of their peers. Today is... Read more
Searching for Tom Sawyer
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In