Somewhere between the exhausting frustration of a life spent chasing everything in a skirt and the fulfillment of settling down with one good woman is fear. For many men, obsessing over sex and reducing women to sex objects is a defense against getting pulled into a real relationship and the accompanying terror of losing their freedom.
Tied down. Trapped by the old ball and chain. Take your pick. In the popular imagination, real men are free-range. They come and go with no ties or long-term promises. Once a man gets tangled up with one woman (says the stereotype), he’s doomed to a boring, soulless domestic life with kids, a mortgage, and sex with the same woman for the rest of his life. For a man raised on the idea of conquest and competition, who’s been living the life of a player, the loss of freedom might look like living death.
But honestly, how much freedom do these men really have? If you ask one hundred habitually single guys why they’re uninterested in commitment, you’ll hear a lot of talk about wanting to get further in life and career. They’re in love with the idea of freedom in the future, but not its possibilities for today. It’s fine to not want to be tied down, but what are you doing with your “not-tied-downness?”
Hmm, it seems like we’ve hit the heart of the matter. If you’re a man who’s not doing anything with his alleged freedom but chasing one empty liaison after another, are you really free? Or are you enslaved to this type of behavior that controls your every move?
God created woman to be part of man, to evoke the best in man, to help you become the best man you can be. Having the right woman in your life will make you a better man. Also, the right woman will bring you closer to your goals, not push you away from them.
A real man has enough strength to admit that he doesn’t know it all and needs his wife to help him figure it out. Meagan and I had the honor of discussing this at the Missions & Marketplace event a few months ago. Watch the video above to hear more – I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions!
CLICK CONTINUE TO SEE ME TALK ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE MARRIED… and how I was wrong about my initial impressions: