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Guys are eternally cavalier about this sex-first, commitment-never values system. Talk to a group of men in a club or out on the basketball court about their conquests, and before long the whole thing turns into a gathering of fourteen-year-olds in a locker room: a festival of laughing high fives and who’s-had-more comparisons. But this isn’t a laughing matter. Just as some women do real damage by throwing themselves at every potential husband, men inflict genuine self-harm by burning endless time, energy, and money in pursuit of meaningless self-gratification.

It’s a waste, and it’s not necessary. We’re not ready to say “boys will be boys” and dismiss men as overgrown adolescents doomed to follow their genitalia over the cliff to humiliation, financial ruin, and even prison. God gave men their sex drive, but He also gifted them with restraint, passion, wisdom, a restless and bold creativity, and the ability to lead and inspire. If you’re a man, all those qualities are in you. All you need is to stop doing the things that keep God’s gifts from being fully expressed in you.

A few months ago Meagan and I had the honor of being interviewed by Maria Shriver for  Architects of Change. Watch the clip above and listen to our conversation about what makes a real man.

What are your thoughts? What do you think makes a real man? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you!



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