Your iPhone might be hurting your marriage

I’m addicted to my phone. There, I said it. I have a problem and I’d be open to starting a support group if any of you are interested!

In our world of technology and connectivity, it’s just so easy to walk around with our faces glued to a screen, but focusing on a phone means that we’re not focusing on the people standing right beside us. If we’re not careful, our phones and iPads and computers can create a real barrier to communication in our marriages which my wife and I first addressed in this short, homemade video: “Your iPhone might be hurting your marriage” 2-minute video

The solution isn’t to throw your phone into a river, but rather to find ways to bring balance. Here are a few tips that have helped me:

1. Never walk into your house while talking on the phone.

I often use drive time to have conversations, but I’m always intentional about hanging up before walking through the front door so I can be fully present for those precious moments of seeing Ashley and the kids at the end of the day. I used to miss that moment, by walking in on the phone and having to ignore my family because I was on the phone, but now, I see the driveway as the finish line to whatever conversation I’m having.

2. Remember that talking with your spouse is always better than texting with somebody else.

When you and your spouse are having a conversation, give them your full attention. Don’t make them compete for your focus with a text conversation you’re having with someone else. Put the phone down and talk. You can return the text later. We need to remember that quality time with your spouse requires more than just being physically present in the same space; it requires being free from distractions and focused on each other.

3. Be willing to turn it off.

This one is also tough for me, because I love staying connected to what’s going on, but I’ve learned the hard way that staying constantly connected to the world means I’m actually disconnecting from my family. We’ve got to be willing to turn it off sometimes.

4. Use it as a positive tool to build your marriage.

Technology can be a powerful way to stay connected, so leverage it to build your marriage! Call and text each other throughout the day and also use it to download marriage-building resources that you can have at your disposal 24/7. You can start by putting our book “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” onto your iPhone right here: iVow ebook on iTunes for all Apple products (it’s also available for all other types of phones and e-readers including Amazon Kindle and paperback).

Our phones, like most everything else in life, can be used for either good or bad, so choose to use yours to build your marriage instead of letting it harm your marriage. For more marriage-building resources, please check my other Blog posts on Marriage