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The average American child is first exposed to porn by age 11. Please consider putting protective software on all your home devices to protect your marriage and family by clicking here.

I was first exposed to pornography as a teenager which fits with the statistics, because I’ve read that as many as 95% of all teens will view explicit pornography (either accidentally or on purpose) at least once before they graduate from high school. Whatever the most accurate stats may be, the obvious truth is that it’s everywhere and it’s having a HUGE impact people and specifically on marriages.

The bottom of this post contains a very detailed, visual display of porn statistics courtesy of our friends at XXXchurch.com

Porn is a controversial issue because some people view it as pure evil while others view it as harmless entertainment and even a helpful aid in “spicing up” things in your sex life. I definitely don’t claim be an expert, but I want to briefly share my own story and a few insights that I’ve learned along the way. What I’m about to share is very uncomfortable to talk about, but I’m stepping way outside my comfort zone to do it so that I can help as many people and strengthen as many marriages as possible.

Below are four of the most damaging lies related to porn. To learn some ways to improve your sex life (without porn), you can Get a free sneak peak of our new video series “Best Sex Life Now” by clicking here.

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Before I get to my own story, I want to start by sharing what I believe are the “lies” that porn teaches us. The more we view it, the more we believe these lies and sabotage ourselves and our marriages:

Lie #1: Porn doesn’t hurt anybody.

The truth is that it will hurt you and and also harm your present and future relationships. In the Bible, Jesus said, “To look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery with her in your heart” (Matthew 5:28), so porn, by its very nature, is an act of infidelity.

Lie #2: Porn is harmless fantasy.

The truth is that type of “fantasy” is a direct enemy of true intimacy. It programs your mind to think of sex as just an animalistic act with many partners and no emotional attachments. It’s an enemy of intimacy.

Lie #3: Porn is so addictive that I will never be free of it. 

The truth is that you can be set free, but you have to rely on God’s power instead of your own will power. That’s what I had to do. Let me share my story…

Lie #4: Being in a healthy marriage to an attractive spouse will remove the temptation.

Porn doesn’t train you to be satisfied by a healthy relationship; it warps your mind to never be satisfied.

My own story with porn (the abridged version, because I know you’re busy!) 

As a teenager, I would go through a vicious cycle of looking at porn and then feeling guilty and hating myself and staying away by sheer will power for as long as I could but then returning to it again. This continued through college. Sometimes there were long stints in between my “relapses” which gave me the false sense of security in believing I had overcome it, but I learned over and over again that I had not overcome it.

Eventually, I bought into the myth that once I got married, it would cure itself, because having a beautiful wife (which I do) would automatically remove the temptation of wanting to look at anyone else, but the secret and shameful cycle continued even after I married the love of my life the week after graduating college. She found the evidence on our home computer and she was heartbroken. I had shattered her trust and I felt hopelessly ashamed.

As painful as it was to have my secret out in the open, it was what had to happen to start the healing process. I only wish I would have had the courage to confess before getting caught. Regardless, getting caught was a gift from God because once the lies are dragged out into the light, even though it hurts at first, it’s the first step towards healing.

That was a decade ago, and thankfully, God and my wife both showed me a lot of grace which has helped me break free. It took trusting God and putting safeguards and accountabilities in place to retrain my thinking, and today, I’m so thankful to be living without that secret shame and constant temptation eating away at me.

If you’re reading this and you’re currently struggling, you are not alone! The first step is to admit that it’s wrong and that you want to make it right. You can overcome this, but don’t try to do it alone. Confess it to your spouse and to God. Ask forgiveness. Put safeguards in place. There are some great resources to help get you started at www.XXXchurch.com.

Also, please consider protecting your family and your marriage with Porn-blocking software on your phones and computers (by clicking here).

If you’ll do those things, you will discover the life-changing promise of Romans 12:2 which says, “Don’t copy the thinking of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you’ll discover God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

For more tools to help you build a porn-free, rock-solid, passionate marriage, check out our new book Marriage Minute: Quick and Simple Ways to Build a Divorce-Proof Relationship which is now also available on iTunes for Download on iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices.

And check out our FREE video series on The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage.

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