Keeping your marriage strong through deployment

Keeping your marriage strong through deployment April 16, 2013

Time is the currency of relationships. There is no greater way to invest into your marriage than making time together a top priority, but sometimes, situations like military deployments or demanding seasons at work force time apart. I’m often asked how to keep the marriage going strong even in those seasons when time and distance are separating husband from wife.

These are tough issues, but if you and your spouse tackle them together as a team, you will get through it and be even stronger when you get to the other side. Here are a few ways to show your spouse the place of priority they hold in your heart and your mind even when you’re not physically in the same place.

1. Plan ahead.

I have some great friends who are a military family and on his last deployment, my friend planned ahead by hiding love letters for his wife all over the house. Over the nine months he was away from home, she found dozens of letters and notes tucked away in drawers, under couch cushions and hiding places all over over the house. Each time she found one, it gave her new strength to face the day without him by her side until he returned home.

2. Use technology to your advantage.

There has never been a time in history when there have been so many tools to stay connected. Use tools like Facetime and Skype to see each other when you’re talking. Send text messages throughout the day and night to remind each other of your love. Use every tool at your disposal to stay connected.

3. Be like the Sun.

The sun is millions of miles away, but every day, it provides warmth and light to us all. In the same way, even though there might be miles between you, find ways to be a daily source of warmth and light in your spouse’s life.

4. Make radical adjustments to reunite. 

There may be seasons at work that force you to be apart, but it will be almost impossible for your marriage to thrive if those “seasons” turn into a full-time lifestyle. It might require radical adjustments to your budget and your standard of living, but I’d encourage you to do whatever you can do to put yourself in a position where you can be near to your loved ones. You might feel like what you’re doing is the only option to provide for your family and maybe it is, but I would bet that your family would be willing to do will less of everything else if it meant having more of you!

For those of you who are separated because of military service, on behalf of us all, let me say THANK YOU for the sacrifices you are making to protect our freedoms. We pray for your safety and quick return home. 

For additional tips to build a rock-solid marriage, please watch our free video series The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage and check out our bestselling book iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage.

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