The MOST Important Decision in Marriage

As compassionately and directly as I could I told her this… It’s time for you to make the MOST important decision of any marriage. Until you make it, you’re going to live in this limbo where you’re never fully satisfied or secure. Right now, you’re imagining life in all these different scenarios. You are fantasizing about being single or divorced or married to someone else. You are seeing only the flaws in your husband an the more you focus on the negative, the harder it is to see the positive. You’re trying to be halfway married and halfway planning an exit strategy and nobody can function like that for very long.

The most important decision in your marriage or any marriage is to answer this one simple question: Am I committed to my spouse or not? That sounds simple, but it’s powerful if you think about it. I told her that if she went “all in” with her commitment to her husband she would approach the whole situation differently. Instead of wasting all her mental energy on fantasizing about leaving, she could give all her focus on how to make things better in the marriage. Instead of focusing on her husband’s flaws, focus on ways that she could be a more loving wife.

I told her to stop looking at her husband as a burden or an option and look at him as your true love and the ONLY husband you’ll ever have. In light of that, focus on how to build your friendship, you passion, your connection and every other part of your marriage. Give it everything you’ve got and you can have the marriage you’ve always wanted and have it with HIM! The happiest marriages aren’t built on compatibility; they’re built on commitment.

I could almost see a lightbulb go off over her head as she said, “I’ve never thought about it that way before. I think I’m going to try that.”

It’s not just a solution for her marriage; it’s the way EVERY marriage has to operate. If you find yourself in a season of difficulty in your marriage, please don’t lose hope. Commit fully to your spouse and start focusing on solutions instead of exit strategies. It will make all the difference. To help you get started by strengthening your marriage in a single week, check out our new 7-Day Marriage Challenge (by clicking here).

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