Masturbation during intercourse with your spouse can be just a fun part of foreplay or reaching orgasm if your spouse finishes before you do, but what I’m talking about here is solo masturbation apart from making love to your spouse. I used to have a struggle with pornography, and even after I broke free from porn, it took me several years longer to stop the habit of masturbating. I justified it in my mind and told myself it wasn’t a big deal, but it was. My own thought life and sex life with my wife are better because I stopped masturbating.
I’d caution you against masturbating for several reasons. First off, it trains you mind to see sex as a selfish act, so even when you are making love to your spouse, your brain is just trying to get to the pleasure of your own orgasm instead of focusing on your spouse. Secondly, it tends to conjure up images of lust which are dangerous for reasons addressed in the above question about porn. Lust is the enemy of love. Finally, especially for men, masturbation will lower your drive and your performance when it’s time to make love to your wife. You’re giving your best energies to an act that doesn’t event include her and then you won’t be at your best for her.
4. My husband (or wife) has much more sex drive than me. What should I do?