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4. She consistently questions his judgment.

When a man makes a decision or declares somethings and the wife’s first response is something like, “Are you sure?” she’s usually just being thorough with the details, but what the man hears is, “I don’t respect you.” This one surprises a lot of couples, but this is huge. Men have a HUGE need for respect and we tend to measure respect in subtle ways. It’s obviously important to ask questions of each other, but always try to be intentional about communicating trust in his judgment and his character.

5. She doesn’t say “Thank you” because she assumes he knows he’s appreciated.

According to research from my friend and bestselling author, Shaunti Feldhahn, men desire to hear the phrase “Thank you” even more than they desire to hear, “I love you.” Both genders have a need to feel appreciated, but men tend to link gratitude with respect and men tend to value respect and appreciation in the way that most women tend to value love and affection. Choose to celebrate the best in him instead of pointing out the worst in him.  Say “Thank you” or “I really appreciate all you do for us” to your husband as often as you can and he’ll work hard to keep working to become the husband of your dreams.

For additional tools to help you build a rock-solid marriage, check out my new book, The 7 Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships”


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