5 tips that will make you a better parent.

When our first child was born on April, 23, 2005, I was instantly in love with this precious little bundle of joy. Right from the beginning, I would have jumped in front of a truck to protect him, but even though I had plenty of love and good intentions, I was CLUELESS!

I had no idea what it meant to be a good parent. Nearly a decade and two more kids later, Ashley and I are still doing our best to figure out this whole parenting thing. We desperately want to get it right, because we understand that raising these three boys is one of the most sacred responsibilities God has ever given us. While we still have A LOT to learn, we have been given some great lessons along the way which have helped us greatly, so from one parent to another, I want to pass these along to you in hopes that you’ll be encouraged by them the same way we have been.

This is a picture I took today of our youngest son, Chandler, playing in the snow. This photo will definitely pop up at his wedding someday and REALLY embarrass him! Still, he’ll have to admit, it’s pretty stinkin’ cute! 

Five lessons which have forever altered our parenting:

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

1. Your kids can do with less of almost anything if it means having more of YOU.

I can’t remember who first shared this principle with me, but it has helped me keep my priorities in place. While it’s my responsibility to provide for my family, and I take that duty very seriously, I also understand that my physical presence in their lives is more important than giving them the latest video game system.

2. Don’t use anger to get action from your kids; use action to get action from your kids.

Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family taught this lesson. It challenged me to not respond to my kids with anger and emotion to get them to behave. Instead, I try (and still often fail) to clearly communicate the penalty for poor behavior and then immediately act in a level-headed way to carry out the discipline when the kids misbehave.

3. You don’t have to be the brightest or prettiest influence in your kids’ lives; you just have to be the closest.

Pastor Mike Breaux shared a story about being outside one summer night and noticing all the lights: The moon, stars, distant city lights, etc., but when a firefly lit up right next to his eye, that little lightning bug was all he could see. He said we need to be that way with our kids. Be the closest light and they’ll always notice our presence and influence.

4. Rules mean nothing without relationships.

A couple we greatly admire who have been married for 50 years and raised four successful children shared this simple principle with us. They said that your kids don’t care about your rules until they’re certain that your rules are motivated by love.

5. Don’t try to do it alone.

While the parent is ultimately responsible and accountable for the child, parents shouldn’t feel like they’re in it alone. Connect with a healthy church, with good friends and with trusted mentors who can invest into you and your children. Your family will be healthier and stronger because of those relationships.

BONUS (Marriage Tip)

Don’t put your marriage on hold for the sake of your kids. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the security that comes from seeing their Mom and Dad in a loving, committed relationship with each other. Love your spouse well, because your kids are watching and you’re teaching them what love and marriage looks like.

The fact you took the time to read this shows you care about becoming the best parent you can be. Keep up the great work! For more tips and tools for build a healthy family, please sign up for our email list.