Women: Three phrases to never say to your husband

By Shaunti Feldhahn on February 10, 2016

Ladies, if there were a reality TV show like “What NOT to Wear,” but for relationships, these three things would be at the top of the list for “What NOT to say to your man.” Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve actually said all these things at one point! You’ve probably said them, too. And you probably also saw the same thing I did: it never works out so well. Why? In research with thousands of men I learned these hurt far more than your man (or your son!) will ever let on. So let’s agree to put these on our no-no list.

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Some hysterical memes about the differences between men and women

By Shaunti Feldhahn on January 27, 2016

People always send me memes about the differences between men and women.  Some of them are too raunchy to post, but this one was (fairly) tame and made me laugh out loud.  Mostly because A) it fits so well with…

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Men: Four phrases that make you a hero to your wife

By Shaunti Feldhahn on January 19, 2016

Guys, I know from the For Men Only research that you want to make your wife happy.  And in many ways you already do!  But if you want to hit the happiness jackpot, here are the four phrases that (in roughly…

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Is your wife asking, “Are we okay?” 4 triggers that make her feel insecure in your relationship

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 12, 2015

1. Conflict. For most guys, conflict is just conflict; it is fairly easy to put it out of your head and focus on whatever you’re doing that day.  But for most women… not so much. In my research for For…

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Actions Don’t Always Speak Louder than Words: How Should You Affirm Your Wife?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 31, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I’m in hot water.  My wife is the most beautiful, amazing woman I know. (I’m sure she’d tell you otherwise, but it’s true.)  But I just don’t talk a lot, and it is hard for me to remember…

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Tell Your Drama to Your Mama (or Your Girlfriends)

By Shaunti Feldhahn on December 29, 2014

Dear Shaunti: I’m always balancing my roles as a mom, wife and businesswoman, but I work almost entirely with men who don’t “get” how much more I have to juggle than they do—especially when there’s a problem at home. I…

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Prep Time In the Bathroom Could Pay Off In the Bedroom

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 11, 2014

Dear Shaunti: I used to really look forward to our Friday night date nights, but they’ve become a source of tension. For meetings at work, my wife is spot on time. But for our dates, she takes SO LONG getting…

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Don’t Force Your Sex Life into Hibernation Mode By Choosing Sleep Over Sex

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 21, 2014

Dear Shaunti, We have young kids, and often I’m so exhausted that I just want to go to sleep without my husband trying to start something. Most of the time I have absolutely no interest in sex late at night,…

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Hard Truths are Still True: Taking Care of Yourself Shows You Care for Your Marriage

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 7, 2014

Dear Shaunti,

I can hardly write this, I’m so upset by one of your columns. You shared that it was important for a woman to “take care of herself” for her husband, and that it was “the effort that mattered” not the results. First of all, this is a dangerous throwback to 1950’s America where the little woman was supposed to greet the conquering hero at the door in a skirt and high heels. The notion that a woman should have to do that makes me sick. But more important, I am deeply skeptical of your contention that the effort is what matters to men. Any man who says he wants his wife to take care of herself, is really saying that he wants the Sports Illustrated supermodel and if she doesn’t meet that standard, it’s time to trade her in for a newer model. I cannot believe that someone with your experience and education would be so susceptible to misogynistic propaganda. How can you possibly defend what these men are saying?

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Beyond the Candlelight: Finding Romance In Unusual Places

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 3, 2014

Dear Shaunti,

I wish my husband were more romantic. I love spending time with him—we work out together and go to the movies, you know, normal couple stuff—but some of my best friends have husbands who plan candlelit dinners or whisk them off on romantic getaways a lot. My best friend’s boyfriend just surprised her with a picnic on the Commons downtown over the weekend. And my husband? He asked me if I wanted to go hit golf balls. Sometimes I’m like: seriously? Golf balls?! What happened to the candlelight dinners, you know?

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