Why I’m Grateful for My Daughter’s First Car Accident

By Shaunti Feldhahn on July 29, 2016

This might sound odd, but I’m really, really grateful for my 16-year-old daughter’s car accident yesterday. Yes, you read that right. She got her license a few months ago, and is a careful, conscientious driver.  She’s uncomfortable going five miles…

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3 things to do when your kid rolls her eyes at you

By Shaunti Feldhahn on May 12, 2016

Not that this ever happens.  But every now and then our kids (girls and boys) might perhaps display a little attitude. Perhaps it’s an eye roll, a derisive tone, a sudden disrespectful temper.  Whatever it is, it’s almost guaranteed to…

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Two great ways to boost your son’s self-esteem

By Shaunti Feldhahn on May 3, 2016

Many boys these days go through challenging times that are not of their making, and yet they affect how our sons view themselves. Every day, boys experience challenges at school that make them feel stupid, especially since our sit-still-and-listen school…

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3 Lies You Can’t Let Your Son Believe About Himself

By Shaunti Feldhahn on March 15, 2016

As both a social researcher who has interviewed and surveyed thousands of boys and a mom of a son, I’ve seen three common – and very harmful –things boys tend to believe about themselves.   Mom and Dad, keep an eye…

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Dads: Four Phrases a Daughter Needs to Hear From You

By Shaunti Feldhahn on January 12, 2016

Dads, we know you love your daughter.  And you know you love your daughter.  But you might be surprised at much she needs to hear it.  In the research with teens and preteens for For Parents Only, I found that…

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Moms: 4 things your son secretly wishes you knew about his temptations

By Shaunti Feldhahn on January 7, 2016

Moms: 4 things your son secretly wishes you knew about his temptations Even after years of researching what is in the heart and mind of men and boys, I still wasn’t quite ready when my pre-teen son began struggling with…

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Play It Subtle When Talking With Teens

By Shaunti Feldhahn on September 8, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

I was driving my 16-year-old daughter home from volleyball practice recently when she brought up a funny comment made by one of the guys she knows at school. Then she said, “Anna said he told her he was going to ask me to Homecoming.” I was thrilled she was sharing something like that, since she’s been pretty tight-lipped the last year. And also thrilled for her, since she’s never been asked to a school dance before, and I know it would mean a lot to her. So I smiled at her and said “Wow, that is fantastic, honey!” I promise that’s all I said. But you would have thought I had shot off fireworks or something, because my daughter got this horrified look on her face and said, “I knew you’d freak out if I told you. That’s why I don’t tell you anything!” But I did not overreact, and I’m a little irritated that she says this is why she can’t talk to me. What do I do?

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How do I deflate my teenage son’s oversized ego and curb the cockiness?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on June 15, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

I’m a single mom to two teenage boys, and because their dad was an arrogant man I’m highly sensitive to teenage cockiness. I really want to teach the boys humility. My 17 year old is fine, but my 15 year old is convinced he’s God’s gift to his school, every girl he meets, and the entire sport of soccer. It is driving me crazy. And the worst of it is: he actually is a great student, a charismatic boy, and an unusually gifted goalie. He works hard, but I feel like I can’t say “good job” because it will just go to his head. And he’s got such an inflated view of himself already. I feel like I need to let some of the air out of his ego by reminding him that he’s part of a team who are all doing well, or that his buddy got just as good grades as he did, or that the girl he liked was turned off by his bravado. But it hasn’t helped so far. What can I do to bring him down to earth?

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When State Says Pot is OK, How Do I Convince My Child It Isn’t?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 27, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

We live in Colorado, where pot is now visible on every corner. For my teenagers, seeing someone smoking pot is as now as commonplace as seeing someone smoking cigarettes; it’s viewed as a harmless pastime. But it isn’t harmless, and I don’t want my kids to be enticed by drugs. My husband and I have even considered moving to another state. How am I supposed to keep my kids from becoming pot-heads when they are surrounded by them?

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How can I get my teen to STOP relying on social media so much?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 13, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

My kids’ obsession with Instagram and other social media has gotten to ridiculous levels. My teenage daughter takes photos of her outfits before she goes to school and wears the option that got the most likes. She’s already placing far too much value on what her peers think of her, and social media is making it worse. I’m ready to throw her phone in the trash. How can I get her to stop relying on social media so much – especially for her self-identity?

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