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surprising secrets

October 2023

October 17, 2023

7 Steps to Keep Defensiveness from Ruining Our Relationships (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of a two-part series on how to reduce defensiveness and have...

October 10, 2023

7 Steps to Keep Defensiveness from Ruining Our Relationships (Part 1)

One woman told me that in reading The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages she...

June 2023

June 06, 2023

4 Shifts That Brought a Struggling Marriage Back From the Brink

In the nationally-representative survey that undergirds the The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, Shaunti...

March 2023

March 30, 2023

8 Relationship Roadblocks that Sabotage Young Couples – Part 3

Many couples focus on concepts like “compatibility” when considering whether to tie the knot with...

May 2022

May 19, 2022

Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Making a Happy Marriage

Your spouse almost certainly deeply cares about and appreciates you. But they won’t live that...

August 2021

August 05, 2021

When You’ve Found “The One” Go All In

A lifelong commitment provides a secure foundation for persevering through the valleys that are part...

May 2021

May 13, 2021

Joy Comes In the Morning: It’s OK to Resolve Your Disagreement Tomorrow

Sometimes the stress of work, family, and finances simply leaves spouses too drained to work...

January 2021

January 07, 2021

When You Tease Your Husband, It’s Really No Joke

Learn from the example of highly happy couples to prevent THIS from happening in your...

August 2018

August 20, 2018

The Best Way to Handle Conflict? Be Best Friends with Your Spouse

Matt and Jessie never used to fight, but there have been a lot of arguments,...

October 2017

October 23, 2017

Want a happy marriage? 3 Ways to Nix All Marriage Negativity

There’s a couple I know who just seems to have their act together. They’re a...

June 2016

June 07, 2016

Wives, if your husband ever seems inconsiderate, assume he doesn’t want to be

Ladies, have you ever had one of those moments when you were at the boiling...

April 2016

April 01, 2016

Secret #7 to a Highly Happy Marriage: Sign Language to Reconnect

Marriages aren't made or broken through dramatic gestures. It's the small, everyday actions and choices...

March 2016

March 04, 2016

Secret #5 to a Highly Happy Marriage: Boss Your Feelings

Marriages aren't made or broken through dramatic gestures. It's the small, everyday actions and choices...

February 2016

February 12, 2016

Secret #4 to a Highly Happy Marriage: Keep Score

Marriages aren't made or broken through dramatic gestures. It's the small, everyday actions and choices...

October 2015

October 27, 2015

Diamond Disappointment: If the ring is cheap, does it mean his feelings are too?

The day my boyfriend asked me to marry him was one of the happiest days...

July 2015

July 13, 2015

Spill Out Your Secrets To Fill Up Your Marriage

Dear Shaunti, Just before I got married, my grandmother presented me with a check –...

June 2015

June 01, 2015

Don’t Let “Facebook Fantasies” Ruin Your View Of Your Spouse

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have started arguing a lot about how much I...

July 2014

July 07, 2014

Sticks and Stones: Your Words Can Build (or Demolish) Your Husband’s Security

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have been married only three months – and I’ll...