Play It Subtle When Talking With Teens

By Shaunti Feldhahn on September 8, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

I was driving my 16-year-old daughter home from volleyball practice recently when she brought up a funny comment made by one of the guys she knows at school. Then she said, “Anna said he told her he was going to ask me to Homecoming.” I was thrilled she was sharing something like that, since she’s been pretty tight-lipped the last year. And also thrilled for her, since she’s never been asked to a school dance before, and I know it would mean a lot to her. So I smiled at her and said “Wow, that is fantastic, honey!” I promise that’s all I said. But you would have thought I had shot off fireworks or something, because my daughter got this horrified look on her face and said, “I knew you’d freak out if I told you. That’s why I don’t tell you anything!” But I did not overreact, and I’m a little irritated that she says this is why she can’t talk to me. What do I do?

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Actions Don’t Always Speak Louder than Words: How Should You Affirm Your Wife?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 31, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I’m in hot water.  My wife is the most beautiful, amazing woman I know. (I’m sure she’d tell you otherwise, but it’s true.)  But I just don’t talk a lot, and it is hard for me to remember…

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I’m Unhealthy and My Wife is Unhappy

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 17, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

Things haven’t been great between me and my wife the past few months. I’m not happy at work, we’re behind on our bills, and I’ve been pretty down. I’ve gained thirty pounds in the last year from eating a lot of junk and watching a lot of TV, which is not good because I’m a diabetic. I’ve wound up in the emergency room a couple times because of high blood sugar. My wife says she’s fed up and if I don’t start taking my health seriously and start looking for a job that makes me “less miserable” (her words, not mine), she is going to move in with her parents. I don’t know how I’d make it without her – she’s truly my better half and best friend. I just feel so paralyzed. What do I do?

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My Lady Is A Loose Cannon

By Shaunti Feldhahn on July 20, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I used to think I was crazy, but these days I feel like I’m the stable one in our house.  I recently read a news report where this guy called 911 because his wife refused to speak to…

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I trusted him and he disappointed me

By Shaunti Feldhahn on June 29, 2015

Dear Shaunti, You and a lot of others talk about how much men need to feel respected and trusted.  So I trusted him.  And it blew up in my face.  My husband, Hank, and I own a travel business.  I…

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Should I read my wife’s texts?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on June 10, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

My wife is the best person I know; she’s funny, warm, affectionate, and a hard worker. She’s also a great homemaker for me and our kids. We could have a fantastic marriage. The problem is me. I have no reason to suspect her of anything at all. In fact, I’m sure she’s never even considered cheating on me, but I’m extremely curious about who she e-mails and texts. If we’re together and her phone chimes, it’s almost impossible for me not to ask who it is, even though it has started to really bother her. Since I have no suspicions, why do I act this way? More importantly, what can I do to stop this behavior before it becomes a problem?

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How Do I Cope With My Super-Sensitive Husband?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on May 18, 2015

Dear Shaunti:

My husband is great at many things, but sometimes he struggles with getting a new task accomplished. Like, he’s great at carpentry, but it might take him two or three days to figure out how to create a new type of bookcase I want for the kids’ bedroom. But when I offer an opinion or suggest a solution, he goes ballistic. Why is he so sensitive? I’m just trying to help and he acts like I’m trying to stick a pin in his eye. Am I supposed to just shut up and quit offering my input when I think there’s a better way to do something? What happened to being equal partners?

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How Often Do Men Need to Have Sex?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on May 4, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

You’re the researcher, so please tell me the real answer: How often do guys need to have sex? I just don’t think about sex much; I guess it isn’t a need for me. But my husband says he thinks about it all the time, and he gets crabby that I’m often too tired. Even though I can go weeks or months and not miss it, since he can’t, I try to do the right thing. But oddly, even though he says he’s “deprived”, when I tell him “okay” that just makes him mad. He says he wants me to want it like he does. I feel like I can’t win. But if I knew how often a man needs sex I could plan on that, and hopefully that would help.

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How can I get my teen to STOP relying on social media so much?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on April 13, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

My kids’ obsession with Instagram and other social media has gotten to ridiculous levels. My teenage daughter takes photos of her outfits before she goes to school and wears the option that got the most likes. She’s already placing far too much value on what her peers think of her, and social media is making it worse. I’m ready to throw her phone in the trash. How can I get her to stop relying on social media so much – especially for her self-identity?

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Negative wife? Here’s how to stop the cycle!

By Shaunti Feldhahn on March 23, 2015

Dear Shaunti: My wife and I are making a concerted effort to improve our marriage. Although she is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives me crazy at how negative she’s become over 12 years together. She is…

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