Dads: Four Phrases a Daughter Needs to Hear From You
Dads, we know you love your daughter. And you know you love your daughter. But you might be surprised at much she needs to hear it. In the research with teens and preteens for For Parents Only, I found that… Read More
Moms: 4 things your son secretly wishes you knew about his temptations
Moms: 4 things your son secretly wishes you knew about his temptations Even after years of researching what is in the heart and mind of men and boys, I still wasn’t quite ready when my pre-teen son began struggling with… Read More
My ADD son is checking out in school
Dear Shaunti, My 6th-grade son is discouraged in school and I’m worried he’s starting to check out. He tries hard, but he has some learning issues (like ADD) that create real academic challenges. Where his sisters get A’s with… Read More
My Kids Are Freaked Out About the Shemitah
Recently my husband and I read Jonathan Cahn’s book The Harbinger, so we’re attuned to the signals of a “shaking” coming in our country. Financial markets are tanking as we near the Shemitah, just as Cahn warned might happen. [Editorial note: the current 7-year Shemitah cycle, based on the ancient Hebrew calendar, ended Sunday September 13, 2015. The Dow Jones average has dropped more than 10% since its peak 4 months ago.] We’re worried about another big terrorist attack, or God using other means to judge the nation. We discovered quite a few other Christian friends were looking at this, too, so we’ve been talking about this a lot. But I was getting ready to go on a business trip this week and my 10 and 14-year-old daughters got hysterical and asked me not to get on the plane “in case it blows up.” I didn’t realize they had been paying so much attention and absorbing everything we were talking about. How can I calm their fears and yet not downplay that we are worried that something big might happen? Read More
Play It Subtle When Talking With Teens
I was driving my 16-year-old daughter home from volleyball practice recently when she brought up a funny comment made by one of the guys she knows at school. Then she said, “Anna said he told her he was going to ask me to Homecoming.” I was thrilled she was sharing something like that, since she’s been pretty tight-lipped the last year. And also thrilled for her, since she’s never been asked to a school dance before, and I know it would mean a lot to her. So I smiled at her and said “Wow, that is fantastic, honey!” I promise that’s all I said. But you would have thought I had shot off fireworks or something, because my daughter got this horrified look on her face and said, “I knew you’d freak out if I told you. That’s why I don’t tell you anything!” But I did not overreact, and I’m a little irritated that she says this is why she can’t talk to me. What do I do? Read More
How do I deflate my teenage son’s oversized ego and curb the cockiness?
I’m a single mom to two teenage boys, and because their dad was an arrogant man I’m highly sensitive to teenage cockiness. I really want to teach the boys humility. My 17 year old is fine, but my 15 year old is convinced he’s God’s gift to his school, every girl he meets, and the entire sport of soccer. It is driving me crazy. And the worst of it is: he actually is a great student, a charismatic boy, and an unusually gifted goalie. He works hard, but I feel like I can’t say “good job” because it will just go to his head. And he’s got such an inflated view of himself already. I feel like I need to let some of the air out of his ego by reminding him that he’s part of a team who are all doing well, or that his buddy got just as good grades as he did, or that the girl he liked was turned off by his bravado. But it hasn’t helped so far. What can I do to bring him down to earth? Read More
When State Says Pot is OK, How Do I Convince My Child It Isn’t?
We live in Colorado, where pot is now visible on every corner. For my teenagers, seeing someone smoking pot is as now as commonplace as seeing someone smoking cigarettes; it’s viewed as a harmless pastime. But it isn’t harmless, and I don’t want my kids to be enticed by drugs. My husband and I have even considered moving to another state. How am I supposed to keep my kids from becoming pot-heads when they are surrounded by them? Read More
How can I get my teen to STOP relying on social media so much?
My kids’ obsession with Instagram and other social media has gotten to ridiculous levels. My teenage daughter takes photos of her outfits before she goes to school and wears the option that got the most likes. She’s already placing far too much value on what her peers think of her, and social media is making it worse. I’m ready to throw her phone in the trash. How can I get her to stop relying on social media so much – especially for her self-identity? Read More
Gain More Pull With Your Kids By Pushing Less
Dear Shaunti, My 13-year-old daughter rocks at math and science. She is at the top of her 8th grade class, and is one of the only girls in a robotics elective. My husband and I have always told her she’ll… Read More
Drama-Free Guarantee: Talking to Teenage Boys
Dear Shaunti, My oldest son is having a tough first year of high school – leaving his old friends, trying to make new ones, and dealing with some unfair teachers. I’m thankful that at least he’s talking to us about… Read More