Is your wife asking, “Are we okay?” 4 triggers that make her feel insecure in your relationship

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 12, 2015

1. Conflict. For most guys, conflict is just conflict; it is fairly easy to put it out of your head and focus on whatever you’re doing that day.  But for most women… not so much. In my research for For…

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Believing the Best Isn’t Letting Him Off the Hook

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 2, 2015

Dear Shaunti, In one of your books, you say it’s important to believe the best of your spouse’s intentions.  But all that does is give your spouse license to hurt you again and again without consequences.  Who cares what their…

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Diamond Disappointment: If the ring is cheap, does it mean his feelings are too?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 27, 2015

The day my boyfriend asked me to marry him was one of the happiest days of my life. He went all out: perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, just a few months before the wedding, my ring has become a source of stress. I’d honestly like something bigger, with a bit more style. My fiancé says we don’t have that kind of money, but he doesn’t seem to have a problem buying fancy accessories for his car. I’m worried that his lack of “splurging” on my ring means that he just doesn’t prioritize what matters to me – which means he doesn’t prioritize me. What do I do with that? I’m willing to forego eating out or whatever we need to do to upgrade my ring, but he’s not budging on the budget.

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Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 21, 2015

Welcome to the weekly list at Ask Shaunti! Each Wednesday, join me as I share a few of the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in marriages and families. Your husband wants sex?…

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When Talking Politics with your Mate, Disarm and Listen

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 19, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I can’t wait until the presidential election is over.  My husband and I were on the same page politically until a few months ago, but are now very divided.  I literally can’t skim past a cable news channel…

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Kick Those Other Gals Out of His Head

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 13, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I recently heard you speak at a conference, and I just finished reading Through a Man’s Eyes. I thought I’d be feeling better about my husband working so hard to avert his eyes when he sees another attractive…

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Realistic Tips for Reeling Him Back In

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 7, 2015

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have been married 22 years and I love him, but we’ve been arguing a lot lately.  We both work a lot and have two children busy with extracurricular activities, so we spend a good…

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Time to Hang up the Hurt, Hang out Together, and Hang On

By Shaunti Feldhahn on September 22, 2015

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I have been married for 20 years. I still care for my husband, but for the most part, I avoid him. I find him difficult to be around. I really don’t enjoy his company. I…

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Actions Don’t Always Speak Louder than Words: How Should You Affirm Your Wife?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 31, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I’m in hot water.  My wife is the most beautiful, amazing woman I know. (I’m sure she’d tell you otherwise, but it’s true.)  But I just don’t talk a lot, and it is hard for me to remember…

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I’m Unhealthy and My Wife is Unhappy

By Shaunti Feldhahn on August 17, 2015

Dear Shaunti,

Things haven’t been great between me and my wife the past few months. I’m not happy at work, we’re behind on our bills, and I’ve been pretty down. I’ve gained thirty pounds in the last year from eating a lot of junk and watching a lot of TV, which is not good because I’m a diabetic. I’ve wound up in the emergency room a couple times because of high blood sugar. My wife says she’s fed up and if I don’t start taking my health seriously and start looking for a job that makes me “less miserable” (her words, not mine), she is going to move in with her parents. I don’t know how I’d make it without her – she’s truly my better half and best friend. I just feel so paralyzed. What do I do?

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