For Women: Five Reasons to Have Sex with the Lights On

By Shaunti Feldhahn on December 7, 2015

Yes, the idea is scary for many women!  But in 12 years of researching the things our husbands wish we knew but don’t know how to say, I heard the heart behind this wish – and saw five surprising reasons to…

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Ladies, do you know how to support your normal, visually-wired husband in this abnormal culture? 4 actions that matter

By Shaunti Feldhahn on December 2, 2015

1. Show him you’re someone he can talk to about it. Regardless of where your man lands on the visual temptation spectrum, a calm conversation is the starting point.  But many men are hesitant to talk, since they are convinced their…

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Is your wife worried about something? 3 things to NEVER say.

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 25, 2015

  1. “Just don’t think about it.”  Women have no idea what that means.  If she’s worried that her best friend suddenly isn’t talking to her, she has no way to not think about it.  As men, you have this…

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How do I convince my wife to let me see her body?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 17, 2015

Dear Shaunti, OK, awkward question but here goes: how can I convince my wife to let me see her in all her glory?  We have a decent sex life, we don’t have any real marriage problems, and I’m careful to…

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Is your wife asking, “Are we okay?” 4 triggers that make her feel insecure in your relationship

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 12, 2015

1. Conflict. For most guys, conflict is just conflict; it is fairly easy to put it out of your head and focus on whatever you’re doing that day.  But for most women… not so much. In my research for For…

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Believing the Best Isn’t Letting Him Off the Hook

By Shaunti Feldhahn on November 2, 2015

Dear Shaunti, In one of your books, you say it’s important to believe the best of your spouse’s intentions.  But all that does is give your spouse license to hurt you again and again without consequences.  Who cares what their…

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Diamond Disappointment: If the ring is cheap, does it mean his feelings are too?

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 27, 2015

The day my boyfriend asked me to marry him was one of the happiest days of my life. He went all out: perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, just a few months before the wedding, my ring has become a source of stress. I’d honestly like something bigger, with a bit more style. My fiancé says we don’t have that kind of money, but he doesn’t seem to have a problem buying fancy accessories for his car. I’m worried that his lack of “splurging” on my ring means that he just doesn’t prioritize what matters to me – which means he doesn’t prioritize me. What do I do with that? I’m willing to forego eating out or whatever we need to do to upgrade my ring, but he’s not budging on the budget.

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Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 21, 2015

Welcome to the weekly list at Ask Shaunti! Each Wednesday, join me as I share a few of the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in marriages and families. Your husband wants sex?…

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When Talking Politics with your Mate, Disarm and Listen

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 19, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I can’t wait until the presidential election is over.  My husband and I were on the same page politically until a few months ago, but are now very divided.  I literally can’t skim past a cable news channel…

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Kick Those Other Gals Out of His Head

By Shaunti Feldhahn on October 13, 2015

Dear Shaunti, I recently heard you speak at a conference, and I just finished reading Through a Man’s Eyes. I thought I’d be feeling better about my husband working so hard to avert his eyes when he sees another attractive…

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