At that point he really shuts down. He gets that look on his face. That look that says we probably won’t be having a nice evening together at the restaurant.
We can change this pattern by learning to think before we blurt. It is easy enough in theory, but in practice will require the same attentiveness you put into learning how to think before you spoke as a kid. It means learning those situations where you’ll have a tendency to “throw something out” that could hurt your man’s feelings without ever intending to.
For example, any time you see him do something that seems odd, or foolish, or like a bad choice, instead of just throwing out “why ___?” stop and realize that not only might he have a perfectly good reason, but he’s going to take your opening statement as criticism. And let’s be honest: in a way, he’s right. After all, you wouldn’t be raising it at all if you thought he was on the right track, would you?
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