Step 5: Watch for and build on any dividends you see from your spouse
Now it’s time to reinvest those dividends! When you are assuming the best in your spouse and working on the things you can do, you are showing one-sided kindness toward your spouse. And in almost 15 years of research, I’ve found that kindness really is a superpower. It is supernatural and transformational. So statistically, at some point in your one-sided effort you will start to see improvement. Not only will you begin to change the way you see your spouse but your spouse will begin to change as well.
So, keep a sharp lookout for anything different. When you begin to see a tiny spark of something new and positive from your spouse, love and honor them even more. Respond positively to that spark! It means an explosion is on the horizon.
Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage)
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.