Step 4: Prioritize sex
Here’s that topic I promised. Many different research studies — both my own and those of other researchers — have found that one of the most crucial little things a couple can do to strengthen their marriage is to connect in sexual intimacy on a regular basis.
It is very easy to let sex go, or even actively avoid it, when we are busy, stretched, or at odds with one another. And yet that creates a negative spiral. Because as I discuss elsewhere, our desire for sex (especially among women) actually decreases as we stop having it. Which leaves this absolutely crucial type of marital connection and intimacy something that can feel like a chore or even a selfish demand. And yet as we make sexual connection a priority (ideally once a week or more), science has found that we will want sex more, and it will become a positive spiral instead.