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Jeff agrees and says “If we want our wives to find us desirable and provide them security that means we have to make the effort to take care of ourselves too. Most guys wish their wives would be more receptive to their physical advances and more passionate in the bedroom. In our interviews and surveys of women, many of them have privately said, “You know, it’s hard to be receptive and passionate towards a guy with a two-day-old beard and garlic breath!”

And the bigger health issues matter even more – and it’s not just about working out to stay in shape. Believe it or not, women actually feel more love and desire toward a guy who will actually go to the doctor when something seems wrong rather than being stubborn about it!

Guys may not realize it, but when they’re in front of the TV multiple nights in a row with their hand in a package of Oreos, it can register in a woman’s heart as, “It must not matter to him how much I need him.”

And one last plea to our guys: realize that most women are very sensitive about looking good for you, and if she is trying to get in shape or lose weight, it is so much easier if you care about it to. If you will lend her encouragement by using her initiative as a chance to join in, and avoid bringing the junk food into the house it will make her feel really loved.

What’s amazing is that God can use this as such an encouragement to both of you – seeing the other person making the effort to care for themselves—knowing it will benefit their mate. What a great way to be there for our spouse—now and for a very long time to come!


Want to know how to be kind, when you really don’t want to be? My research uncovered three daily actions that will transform your relationships – and you. Check out The Kindness Challenge, now available!

Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average, clueless people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).

Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.

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