2. Not asking for help
Community doesn’t have to mean always being in harmony. It means simply sharing life together: not just offering support, but asking for it when it is needed. It means treating your community as if they are true family.
When I was living in Boston, a pastor shared a story about good friends who had moved to California. One night at 3:00 am, the pastor and his wife were awakened with an urgent phone call from their friends, asking for prayer. Raging wildfires were threatening their home and community. From their window they could see the glow of thousands of acres burning, the fire advancing quickly as they raced to evacuate their home. The pastor and his wife got out of their bed and knelt on the cold floor, praying urgently for an hour for the protection of their friends, their home, and everyone in the area.
In the end, although the fire consumed thousands of acres and several neighborhoods, the broader community – and their friends’ house – was spared.
The homeowner called the pastor and thanked him profusely for being a true friend. The pastor answered, “No. Thank you. You were the one being a true friend. You thought enough of our friendship that you were willing to wake us up in the middle of the night to ask us to pray. You were good enough friends that you were willing to ‘inconvenience’ us.”
Are you good enough friends with someone that you are willing to “inconvenience” them and share your struggles and ask for help? So often, we can see the fires of financial crisis, health issues or kids’ rebellion on the horizon. We pray and pray. God wants us to call on Him, of course! But God has also created community for us to call on—even in the middle of the night. That is what God has designed for you.
Tweet this: “Are you friends with someone that you are willing to “inconvenience” by sharing your struggles and asking for help?“
If you do not have a community of people like that around you, decide that this week is the week you will start to make that a reality. It has to be authentic, and it won’t probably happen all at once. But start to invite others over for dinner. Make friends. Be vulnerable. And be willing to not just offer help – but to ask for it.
In the end, your willingness to do both these things will be a blessing for you and those around you!
Want to know how to be kind, when you’re really not feeling it? My research uncovered three daily actions that will transform your relationships – and you. Check out The Kindness Challenge, now available!
Helping people thrive in life and relationships is Shaunti Feldhahn’s driving passion, supported by her research projects and writing. After starting out with a Harvard graduate degree and experience on Wall Street, her life took an unexpected shift into relationship research. She now is a popular speaker around the world and the author of best-selling books about men, women, and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge, demonstrates that kindness is the answer to almost every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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