3. A sigh of exasperation
This, placed in front of any words – or on its own – is like a knife. As you can infer from the findings discussed above, a man’s greatest emotional need is to feel that you respect, appreciate, admire and believe in him. Signs of exasperation say exactly the opposite. We would never look at this man we love, and say out loud, “You’re an idiot” or “you’re incompetent” – yet we don’t realize that the sigh of exasperation says exactly that. When we are frustrated, it makes all the difference if we take a deep breath, count to three, and say what we need to say in a calm and respectful way instead.
I know it may be hard to believe that these things really matter. In fact, you may want to give a sigh of exasperation at this list! But since each of us does care about our man, let’s give it a shot. Try minimizing the above words and actions, and exploring the positive alternatives instead. The response you get will be the best possible incentive to continue.
Want to know how to be kind, when you really don’t want to be? My research uncovered three daily actions that will transform your relationships – and you. Check out The Kindness Challenge, now available!
Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average, clueless people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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