Every little girl dreams of finding her prince and knowing she is his princess. Husbands, you need to know that even after years of marriage, your wife probably still has some of that little girl inside. A little girl who wants to know she is still your leading lady. And one of the greatest ways you can get that truth to “stick” is by regularly telling your wife she is beautiful!
Our surveys found that inside nearly every woman is a deep desire to know she is beautiful. This is true no matter what age she is, or how successful or confident she may be.
You may be thinking, “But I do think my wife is beautiful!” The thing is, it’s easy to forget to put the thought into words! The best thing you can do is take every opportunity to tell her you feel that way.
Think about the last few times you both went out together—like on a date night or out with friends. It is very likely that your wife put in effort to look nice. Maybe she bought a new outfit to catch your eye, or took extra time on her hair and makeup. As you continued on to the restaurant or movie, did you ever hear her ask, “Honey, how do I look?”
Her question is pointing to her hope that you will say those magic words: how pretty she looks.
You see, every day your wife is bombarded with constant images from the media setting unrealistic expectations for beauty. These images tell her she must lose more weight, be sexier, look younger or dress better. It can take its toll on even the most confident of women. I know you want to make your wife happy, and the best relief you can give her from that pressure, the best antidote you can find for the forever-young, forever-size-two Photoshop expectations of this culture, is the encouragement of hearing how beautiful she is to you, in all her individuality.
One man told me that on his 30th anniversary, he did something he had never thought to do before: he took his wife’s lipstick and wrote on the mirror in their bathroom: “You are the most beautiful woman I know.” Three months later, that message was still there. She couldn’t bear to wash it off.
So find ways to say it out loud, and put it in writing. When you have date nights or she gets dressed up in a pretty outfit, tell her how amazing she looks. If you need to, take a sticky note and stick it on your computer or in your closet to help you remember. You’ll see so much delight on her face – you’ll see her start to believe it — as you get into the habit of putting into words that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you.
Wish Shaunti could speak at an event in your area? You can help! Forward this piece or others to a leader at your organization or church, with a note of recommendation. They can reach Shaunti at NDuncan@shaunti.com.
Shaunti Feldhahn is the best-selling author of eye-opening, research-based books about men, women and relationships, including For Women Only, For Men Only, the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage, and her newest book, Through A Man’s Eyes. A Harvard-trained social researcher and popular speaker, her findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, and the New York Times. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.
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