Ashley Willis
This week, I had lunch with several of my girlfriends. We laughed, shed some tears, and simply shared what was on our hearts with each other (using as many words as possible of course). I know, I know…seems a little too dramatic and stereotypical…women laughing and crying together…yada, yada, yada. Even so, I can’t even describe to you how good it was for my soul. I really needed that time with my girlfriends.
In Proverbs 27:9, I love the way the author describes a friend when he writes,
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
and the pleasantness of a friend
springs from their heartfelt advice.”
Even an ancient writer saw the value in sharing what’s on your heart with a good friend, and he ranked it up there with perfume and incense which were considered to be extremely valuable during Biblical times.
The older I get, the more I realize what a priceless treasure it is to have true friends. When I was eight months pregnant with our second chid, Dave was offered an amazing job opportunity at a church in Augusta, GA. After much prayer, we felt a strong leading to this area, and we made the big move from Kentucky. I was leaving everything I knew in Kentucky, where ALL of my family and friends lived. I knew we would be coming back for frequent visits to our hometowns, but I remember telling Dave that I so desperately hoped to make fast friends with the people in Augusta. We specifically prayed together for this very thing, and it truly amazes me how God has blessed me with some of my very best friends right where I am planted. I am also thankful to have maintained strong friendships with my sweet friends who live far away. Whether old or new, true and lasting friendships are rare because we see the good and not-so-good in each other. If we really are friends, we will find a way to love each other through it, flaws and all.
When I think about the dynamics between my close friends and myself, there are particular, overarching qualities that we each bring to the table in our friendships. Each unique type of friend makes us better and blesses our life in a special way. This is by no means a complete list, but here are the 5 friends that I believe every woman needs:
1. The Encourager
I don’t know what I would do without my encouraging friends. They always offer us a shoulder to cry on and help us to see hope in an otherwise dyer situation. I have one sweet friend in particular that gives me a pep talk every time we speak. She sees the good in me, and therefore, brings out the best in me. As a mom, there have been many times I’ve called her feeling so defeated about my “mommy fails”, and she always knows exactly what to say to help me through and offers positive advice that aids me in becoming a better mother. She helps me to see opportunity when I see opposition and purpose when I only see pain. I love my “encouragers” and strive to be an encourager myself.
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had…”
Romans 15:5
2. The Super Honest
Although it’s hard to hear at times, real friend will tell us the honest truth. The “super honest” friends are the ones that aren’t afraid to tell us that we have lipstick on our teeth or even a booger on our nose. These kind of friends are often willing to bring hard truths to light in our lives that we might be missing. I have a friend who has done this for me many times over, and I hold her in high esteem. She never ceases to amaze me with her direct rhetoric that is filled with love. I have gone to her for advice on more than one occasion, often bracing myself for the sometimes difficult truth. To my relief, I always walk away from our conversations ready to address the “blind spots” in my life, and I often learn something new. She also helps me to be a more honest person with myself and others, which is tremendously freeing.
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Proverbs 27:6
3. The Humorist
Laughter is truly one of my favorite things, and I love being around my funny friends. There’s a couple of girls that I walk with on occasion, and every time we’re together, I think I get an ab workout just from laughing so much. We “get” each other. We can be honest and joke with each other without having to preface everything. Sometimes, our jokes bring forth brutal honesty that is easier to swallow when followed by a good laugh. Even though the conversations might tend to be light-hearted, I often feel so comfortable discussing serious details of my life with these girls. Laughter has a way of opening up our hearts. I find that I am able to blow off stress from my job and obligations whenever I share a good laugh with my “humorist” friends. The experience is refreshing, and I always feel lighter after I have spent time with those two.
“Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
‘The Lord has done great things for them.’ “
Psalm 126:2
4. The Dreamer
The “dreamers” are our friends that love to talk about the deeper things on our minds. Many times we end up chatting about how our futures will pan out. I love how my “dreamer” friends help me to see beyond the seemingly mundane parts of life. As a kid, I remember lying on my trampoline with my friend beside me and dreaming about our futures. It was so easy then, and we would talk about it for hours. As we grow older, we can often lose sight of our dreams or stop dreaming all together. The “dreamers” are the ones who haven’t lost sight of the value and wonder of dreaming, and they are so good at exposing the unbridled, child-like imagination that lies in all of us.
“Know also that wisdom is like honey for you:
If you find it, there is a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.”
Proverbs 24:14
5. The Challenger
Challenges make us better and stronger when we allow them to and when we face them with the right company by our side. The “challengers” are the friends that we want as our gym partners. They push us beyond our limits not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. These friends are often competitive by nature in almost everything they do. They LOVE a challenge, and they enjoy challenging others to better themselves as well. Throughout my life, I have greatly appreciated my “challenger” friends. It’s easy to be a bit jealous of their confidence and accolades, but they always push me to be stronger, smarter, and wiser.
“As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17
Regardless of the list above, there are two characteristics that are a must for ALL true friendships: dependability and trust. We need to know that our friends will be there for us and we can trust them wholeheartedly. We can depend on them, and likewise, they can depend on us.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 18:24
I count it a tremendous blessing to have the friendships that I do, and I want each of them to know how thankful I am for them. Please join me and feel free to tag your friends to this blog and thank them for the blessing they are in your life! You may even have a rare and special friend who embodies ALL of these attributes and more. If so, hold on to them for life!
Also, ask your friends where you might fit on this list. May God bless you and your friendships!
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In