GUEST POST by Krystle Barrington
I walked into Target on New Year’s Eve and not to my surprise, the holiday merchandise had been replaced with all things Valentine’s Day. A sea of pink and red greeted me as soon as I walked into the store. It was a reminder that this world we live in is most definitely on a schedule. I also couldn’t help but think about every woman who would walk pass this explosion of hearts and flowers and feel like yet another Valentine’s Day was upon her and yet she was still single. I thought about every woman who is bombarded with questions about her future that she doesn’t have the answers to. I thought about my own journey of finding contentment in my singleness.
If you’re like me, you’ve been in a couple of weddings by now. One by one your friends are getting engaged. You may even dread the holiday season because that’s when all the questions about when your time will come is magnified. There is certainly the potential to let the constant reminders of our singleness influence our thoughts about our own self-worth. There is also the tendency to cling to what is convenient to fill those gaps in our lives that only God can fill. The scenarios are endless when it comes to reaching for people or things to make us feel like our lives are not lacking something, however, the problem with this concept is that it is so far from God’s word. We are complete in Him, yet the world can send a very different message.
“And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.”
I may not be a biblical scholar but I’d like to think that marriage and purpose go hand in hand. I believe with all my heart that marriage and companionship are not something we should cross off of a to-do list and the desire for marriage should come from the Holy Spirit and not expectations set by a world that promotes a rush mentality. I have to believe that as a single Christian woman my responsibility is to seek God first and to truly find delight and peace and joy in resting in His presence. This is not always easy but seeking God is very much worth it.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
I’ve concluded that being single is not a punishment. It is not a curse. It is not something we should be ashamed of. It is a season that has so much purpose but so often we miss that because we are too busy worrying ourselves about the future. Instead of being filled with fear, we should be prayerful and intentional about letting God guide our thoughts, our decisions, and our actions when it comes to dating and marriage. It all starts with developing a relationship with God and allowing His word to transform our thoughts and give us a boldness in how we live our lives. So that means it is very possible to live a life full of joy and contentment as single women, we just need to make sure we position ourselves to thrive in the season we are in.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
The more I learn about God, the more I understand that God’s ways are just different from the world. His ways require discipline and patience while the world we live in can be impatient and in a constant rush. As Christian women, our approach to singleness should be different. How we date should be different. Our attitude towards letting God’s plans unfold should be different. It won’t always be easy and there may be some days when we feel some level of doubt but through a relationship with Christ, we can and will develop the ability to rise above comments, whispers, and even judgement because we understand that God is in control of all things.
There is only one love worth chasing and that is the love of God. As daughters of Jesus Christ we were not created to hold our hands out and take scraps of love from places of convenience. No, God has a plan for our lives and His plans are not dictated by worldly timetables or even biological clocks. God’s plans for our lives are not influenced by store displays or even moments of loneliness we may experience. God’s plans are perfect, not convenient.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
So rather than chase a ring or a relationship status, I believe God wants us to chase Him. Instead of hoping and praying for someone to complete us, I believe God wants us to realize that we are complete through Him and Him alone. Frankly, the world has made marriage a goal and accordingly to all the unsolicited advice I receive on a regular basis, I’m behind the curve. I’m over the age of thirty and I’ve yet to meet the one, but I’d like to think that my God is intentional. He knows what we need and when we need it it and there comes a time when we have to believe in God’s word enough to hold our heads up high even when the questions outweigh the answers.
So, we have a choice to make. As single Christian women we have to decide if we will be influenced by this world or be influenced by the word of God as it relates to singleness. We have to decide if we will let God’s word define who we are or let worldly expectations dictate our self-worth. Remember, you are right where God wants you to be. Your worth and your purpose are far greater than your singleness. Everything God has for you will come, so choose patience, seek God daily, and believe that God indeed has a plan for your life that will blow you away.
About the Guest Blogger:
Krystle Barrington is a faith and lifestyle writer from Houston, Texas. A very shy kid, she fell in love with reading and writing early on. It wasn’t until adulthood that she discovered that her love for writing was much more than a hobby, but rather her purpose. She refers to herself as a cheerleader for self-love, redemption, and faith. Her mission is simple, and that is to challenge women to dig deep in order to live their best life. Her first book,“She Believes: 75 Devotionals to Encourage, Motivate, and Inspire” , was released in October of 2015 and is currently available on Amazon. Please visit www.krystlebarrington.com for upcoming releases and daily encouragement.