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3.  Respond with accusing words like “You NEVER” or “You ALWAYS”.

These words will lead to a fight.  They are often said in a derogatory fashion, therefore, they rarely help the conversation.  One spouse may say, “You NEVER listen to me,” and then the other might say, “Well, you ALWAYS say the same thing, so why should I?”–and on and on.  It’s maddening and hurtful.

These words aren’t inherently bad.  It depends on how we use them.

Instead, use these words in a positive light by saying things like, “You ALWAYS know how to brighten up my day,” or “You NEVER give up, and I love that about you.”  This will make our spouse feel like a million bucks, and it will definitely keep the conversation going in the right direction.

For more on this topic, be sure to read “4 BIG DOs and DON’Ts When Arguing With Your Spouse,” by clicking here.

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